Thursday, December 01, 2011
the end of November
Am I the only person that sometimes "just wakes up in a bad or grumpy mood"? My husband says it's an excuse. People just don't wake up in a bad mood... he says.
Whatever. I do.
BTW... he also thinks hormones are only in a woman's head.
So yesterday, I woke up in a totally bad mood. Just really grumpy. Didn't want to go to work - and I love my job MORE than home BTW. The people there are much nicer than at my house.
I kept thinking of people that are so worse off than me, trying to talk myself out of said bad mood. I was asking God for Bible verses of patience to come to mind. I was thinking of all the homeless people and those without loved ones... still trying to get rid of my feeling-sorry-for-myself morning.
Let me just share here that I'm really bad about putting gas in my car. WHY don't I have one of those husbands that always makes sure his wife's car is full of gas?? This awesome husband also checks the oil, makes sure the tires are good, washes her car.... Doesn't everyone else have that husband?? I mean, while we're all dreaming, he could also do the laundry, bathe the children, clean the bathroom, mop the kitchen floor DAILY...or EVER.
Going back... as I leave work on Monday, and since my car has "5 miles left, PLEASE REFUEL!!" on the electronic dashboard, I decided to stop for gas. I jump out, put my debit card in the pump and open my gas door... ummm... open my gas door... push on it again and again and again. I'm thinking yes, this is the same way I've pushed this stupid door every time I put gas in my car for the last three months I've had my car... Gas door won't open. After standing there for what seemed like an eternity, looking ridiculous to every MAN that this has NEVER happen to, BTW none of them offered to help this stupid-lady that can't get her gas door open, I go into the store and tell them to cancel the transaction - wanting to say SHUT UP to the MAN cashier behind the counter.... as I'm thinking Can I make it home?? It's less than five miles but the traffic is horrible with all the construction... it's sure to take 20 minutes... Making the escape route plan of which way to go home IN CASE I run out of gas....
AHHH... made it home. GOD IS GOOD. I am thankful for the little things. Christmas tree lights won't work, oh well, let's go get some more - in the truck - which DOES have gas (and an opening gas door). Go to Target, get the lights... get home, put them on the tree... they don't work right... take them off the tree...
I love Christmas time, it truly is my favorite time of year. BUT... when your husband works for UPS... it can be... (what's the nicest word I can think of without offending...) challenging. I often start to feel like I'm very alone in this parenting role and should I need my husband home at any time between now and Christmas, I should send a package to myself and route it through his center. Although, that wouldn't even work because he works out of another building. Maybe I should move to that area so I could see him?? I'll just send him a change of address card via UPS so he'll know where to send his laundry and get a meal.
I know. Boo Hoo. As I'm asking for God's divine intervention in my bad mood... I'm going back and forth on how other's don't deal with this and that...blah, blah, blah.
Oldest daughter is insecure and having personality/boyfriend/who am I today/depression/normal 21 year old thing issues... Six year old daughter hates to go to bed, hates to get up, can't decide if she wants to be 16 or 3 depending on who she's with and what kind of attention she's getting. How about just be six?? Whichever she chooses, she does LOUD well... 16 and 14 year old daughters FIGHT. There's so many things I could say about that. But really... that's all they do. Seriously. My birthday was last Saturday, so if you want to come to my pity-party it has been extended.
So I get to work (which, BTW, did I tell you I LOVE MY JOB?!?!) I open my email and BAM.
My very good friend at work, Cheri's, father passed away over night.
Alright God, you got my attention. I immediately went into protective, my heart hurts for my friend, what can I do?, how is she?, how are the boys?, I'm so glad she spent Thanksgiving at home, how is her mom?, she just told me yesterday a story about her Dad...
OMG how perspective comes.
Philippians 4:13 says "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
I have friends posting lots of blessings and thankfulness on their FB pages. I always know (but need reminded) "this too shall pass" but some days it doesn't seem soon enough.
One of my favorite Kenny Chesney songs says " So damn easy to say that life's so hard, Everybody's got their share of battle scars, As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars..."
This week begins the season of Advent. It's a season of anticipation, of expectations, of longing, of truth, of hope, of peace... I pray my heart can be in a better place as the season continues...
Friday, November 04, 2011
a long time...
A long time... that's what it's been since I've blogged. That's what 2011 has been. Some days seem just that... a long time. I won't lie, 2011 has been a personal journey in a transitional year... I lost my 19 year old nephew to heroin. I lost my pastor, friend, and boss to a brain bleed an un-diagnosed leukemia ten days later. My youngest daughter started Kindergarten... which means I also lost my every day dear, sweet, Nanny to time and money constraints. My husband's job has changed several times this year, none for the better. My pastor, friend and mentor discovered she has breast cancer. I gained ten pounds.
And, as most personal journeys go, God wants to speak to me through these moments. He jolts me awake and prepares my heart to listen to where and what my personal journey is suppose to show me. Transitions are uncomfortable and... essential.
In Isaiah 43 the prophet proclaims on behalf of the Lord, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God."
God makes no promise that life will be without it's challenges. The protection that God provides is God's abiding presence in the midst of transition and change.
God makes no promise that life will be without it's challenges. The protection that God provides is God's abiding presence in the midst of transition and change.
Labels: 2011, journey, transition
Monday, June 14, 2010
Summer's Here!
Summer is here and we're so excited! Last week started off with Landry's recital and MacKenzie to 8th grade cheer camp at SMU. It was a busy weekend, but we survived!
Kenzie came home on Tuesday and was wiped out. She had a blast, but needed a few days to recover.
We're on the 25 day count down to Candi's wedding. All four girls are in the wedding and then we're heading to Padre the day after for a week of vacation. We're are so blessed to be able to take a summer vacation this year. Landry's been in swimming lessons for the past week. She's become a little more afraid of the water, or maybe it's because her sisters want to basket toss her in the air - that may be why she doesn't want to swim with them!
Looking forward to VBS in a couple of weeks. Landry is attending, Sydney and MacKenzie are volunteering. I've been helping Ken pack for the Kenya Mission trip. They are leaving on Wednesday. I wish I was going! Some day I will. It's an entry on my bucketlist.
Labels: cheer camp, recital, vacation
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Clean FREAK
Why every time I trade cars with my daughter, do I feel so compelled to clean her car and fill it up with gas?? Some day I think she'll figure out this happens EVERY time we trade cars and trade once a week. Or especially when she's on "e" and has gone mudding or something. I don't even clean my own car as good as I clean hers. Today it wasn't even empty or really dirty. I guess I just wanted to be nice. Maybe I'm secretly thinking that my actions will rub off on her and I'll see some *pay it forward* in her as she gets older.
I'm not sure why I think that will happen, it hasn't happened with my husband yet. When we were dating I use to clean his house (hell, I still clean his house) just to do something nice for him. We were only dating! I clean his truck sometimes, too. OK, maybe my kids are right, maybe I'm just a "clean freak" as Sydney likes to call me. I've read all the self help books that tell me I shouldn't pick up after my children, I shouldn't make their beds (only on Fridays) or their lunch or put their laundry away when they are 19, 14 and 12. Or for that matter, 47.
Truth is, it's much easier to do when they aren't around. Plus, I'd like a little of it to rub off on them. "Not gonna happen".
Oh well, they sure are lucky to have a clean freak for a mom (or not, who knows?)
I'm not sure why I think that will happen, it hasn't happened with my husband yet. When we were dating I use to clean his house (hell, I still clean his house) just to do something nice for him. We were only dating! I clean his truck sometimes, too. OK, maybe my kids are right, maybe I'm just a "clean freak" as Sydney likes to call me. I've read all the self help books that tell me I shouldn't pick up after my children, I shouldn't make their beds (only on Fridays) or their lunch or put their laundry away when they are 19, 14 and 12. Or for that matter, 47.
Truth is, it's much easier to do when they aren't around. Plus, I'd like a little of it to rub off on them. "Not gonna happen".
Oh well, they sure are lucky to have a clean freak for a mom (or not, who knows?)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
May all your days be circus days...
I love my job. I'm so blessed to be able to share in the lives of so many awesome people involved in our church and the Creative Learning Center ministries. Today is circus day at CLC. All the children dress up in their favorite circus outfit and they parade around the gym for a few minutes. LuAnn serves as the ringmaster introducing each class. It's so great. It's just a little reminder of how lucky I am to be a part of this wonderful church.
The past two weeks the preschoolers have learned about the Olympics. They ice skated on wax paper around the gym. Then they each received a gold medal on the podium and were told how proud everyone was of them, while our National anthem played in the back ground. It's been very patriotic around here with children chanting "USA, USA, USA!!!" several times a day.
Some days it's hard to remember that we need to celebrate the little things. God is SO good!
The past two weeks the preschoolers have learned about the Olympics. They ice skated on wax paper around the gym. Then they each received a gold medal on the podium and were told how proud everyone was of them, while our National anthem played in the back ground. It's been very patriotic around here with children chanting "USA, USA, USA!!!" several times a day.
Some days it's hard to remember that we need to celebrate the little things. God is SO good!
