Thursday, December 01, 2011
the end of November
Am I the only person that sometimes "just wakes up in a bad or grumpy mood"? My husband says it's an excuse. People just don't wake up in a bad mood... he says.
Whatever. I do.
BTW... he also thinks hormones are only in a woman's head.
So yesterday, I woke up in a totally bad mood. Just really grumpy. Didn't want to go to work - and I love my job MORE than home BTW. The people there are much nicer than at my house.
I kept thinking of people that are so worse off than me, trying to talk myself out of said bad mood. I was asking God for Bible verses of patience to come to mind. I was thinking of all the homeless people and those without loved ones... still trying to get rid of my feeling-sorry-for-myself morning.
Let me just share here that I'm really bad about putting gas in my car. WHY don't I have one of those husbands that always makes sure his wife's car is full of gas?? This awesome husband also checks the oil, makes sure the tires are good, washes her car.... Doesn't everyone else have that husband?? I mean, while we're all dreaming, he could also do the laundry, bathe the children, clean the bathroom, mop the kitchen floor DAILY...or EVER.
Going back... as I leave work on Monday, and since my car has "5 miles left, PLEASE REFUEL!!" on the electronic dashboard, I decided to stop for gas. I jump out, put my debit card in the pump and open my gas door... ummm... open my gas door... push on it again and again and again. I'm thinking yes, this is the same way I've pushed this stupid door every time I put gas in my car for the last three months I've had my car... Gas door won't open. After standing there for what seemed like an eternity, looking ridiculous to every MAN that this has NEVER happen to, BTW none of them offered to help this stupid-lady that can't get her gas door open, I go into the store and tell them to cancel the transaction - wanting to say SHUT UP to the MAN cashier behind the counter.... as I'm thinking Can I make it home?? It's less than five miles but the traffic is horrible with all the construction... it's sure to take 20 minutes... Making the escape route plan of which way to go home IN CASE I run out of gas....
AHHH... made it home. GOD IS GOOD. I am thankful for the little things. Christmas tree lights won't work, oh well, let's go get some more - in the truck - which DOES have gas (and an opening gas door). Go to Target, get the lights... get home, put them on the tree... they don't work right... take them off the tree...
I love Christmas time, it truly is my favorite time of year. BUT... when your husband works for UPS... it can be... (what's the nicest word I can think of without offending...) challenging. I often start to feel like I'm very alone in this parenting role and should I need my husband home at any time between now and Christmas, I should send a package to myself and route it through his center. Although, that wouldn't even work because he works out of another building. Maybe I should move to that area so I could see him?? I'll just send him a change of address card via UPS so he'll know where to send his laundry and get a meal.
I know. Boo Hoo. As I'm asking for God's divine intervention in my bad mood... I'm going back and forth on how other's don't deal with this and that...blah, blah, blah.
Oldest daughter is insecure and having personality/boyfriend/who am I today/depression/normal 21 year old thing issues... Six year old daughter hates to go to bed, hates to get up, can't decide if she wants to be 16 or 3 depending on who she's with and what kind of attention she's getting. How about just be six?? Whichever she chooses, she does LOUD well... 16 and 14 year old daughters FIGHT. There's so many things I could say about that. But really... that's all they do. Seriously. My birthday was last Saturday, so if you want to come to my pity-party it has been extended.
So I get to work (which, BTW, did I tell you I LOVE MY JOB?!?!) I open my email and BAM.
My very good friend at work, Cheri's, father passed away over night.
Alright God, you got my attention. I immediately went into protective, my heart hurts for my friend, what can I do?, how is she?, how are the boys?, I'm so glad she spent Thanksgiving at home, how is her mom?, she just told me yesterday a story about her Dad...
OMG how perspective comes.
Philippians 4:13 says "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
I have friends posting lots of blessings and thankfulness on their FB pages. I always know (but need reminded) "this too shall pass" but some days it doesn't seem soon enough.
One of my favorite Kenny Chesney songs says " So damn easy to say that life's so hard, Everybody's got their share of battle scars, As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars..."
This week begins the season of Advent. It's a season of anticipation, of expectations, of longing, of truth, of hope, of peace... I pray my heart can be in a better place as the season continues...